


Short Touhous

by CuteBobs



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Bad hermit, Bad tea, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22759351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuteBobs/pseuds/CuteBobs
Summary: Miko and Mokou hit it off. Seiga is evil and Yoshika is cute.
Relationships: Fujiwara no Mokou/Toyosatomimi no Miko, Kaku Seiga & Miyako Yoshika
Kudos: 16





	1. Everyone's an immortal now

“Mokou, sorry, would you prepare some tea? I’m a little busy.”

Mokou looks up from her book at Keine, who’s carrying scrolls to the table in the living room. She drops them there before neatly putting them away. “Sure?”

“Right, I forgot to tell you! I’m expecting a visitor today.”

“Want me to leave you alone?” Mokou says, shelving the book. “I could go do things.”

“No, no, it’s fine! You’ve heard of the hermit prince, right?” Keine picks up a broom and sweeps the floor vigorously. She must want to make a good impression because she just swept yesterday. It’s cute.

“Met her before, too.” Mokou walks to the kitchen, spins around and walks back out. “You sure you want her to drink that tea? We should throw it out.”

Keine shuts her eyes tight. “Ugh, we don’t have anything else, do we? It’s still better than not offering anything…?”

“If you’re parched, maybe. Want me to go pick up something in the village?”

“Am I interrupting?” A bright, cheerful voice fills the little house in the forest. Toyosatomimi no Miko stands before the open door and bows slightly. She certainly has presence.

“No, no! Do come in!” Keine puts away the broom. “I hope you don’t mind that Mokou is here as well.” Why is Keine so nervous? They must have met before. Perhaps you don’t meet a famous person from history every day.

“On the contrary, the more the merrier, right?” Miko slips out of her shoes and smiles at Mokou in the kitchen.

“Uh, tea?”

“If you’re offering.”

Mokou shrugs and gets the accursed tea leaves. The water is almost done too. Behind her, Miko and Keine exchange pleasantries, and talk about… the level of education in the village? Whatever. Mokou gets them three cups and brings them to the table the two are sitting at.

“Keine,” Miko says, “you don’t mind me taking the chance for a bit of chitchat, do you? We haven’t really had the time to talk much.”

“Do go ahead!”

Miko takes the cup of tea and nods at Mokou as she takes the first sip. She smiles. “Why, that might be the worst tea I’ve ever had, hahaha.”

“I’m so sorry!!!”

While Keine starts to panic despite Miko’s nonchalance, Mokou simply says, “Yup, bad harvest. The thing with the seasons and all that.”

“That would explain it.” Miko takes another sip. “It’s truly wonderful to be alive,” she says, honestly, sincerely.

Mokou takes a sip. She can’t help but smile too. “Yeah, sure is.”

“On being alive!” Miko toasts, and Mokou and the very flustered Keine join in. While they’re drinking Miko eyes Mokou quite a bit. “I hear you are younger than me, but I did spend more than a millennium being dead, so I’m glad to see that you’re still enjoying yourself after so many lifetimes.”

Mokou scratches her chin. Despite being one of the oldest people in Gensokyo she never really thinks about it too much anymore, and so she realizes just now how far she has come from being all alone to being alone with Kaguya to the current Gensokyo, where she is not alone at all anymore. Quite a lot of her new acquaintances or friends or enemies are functionally immortal as well, or at least long-lived youkai. She puts away the tea. “Oh, the first couple lifetimes are the bad ones, after that it gets better and better.”

“I am so glad to hear that.”

For the first time since Miko’s arrival, Keine smiles without worries. Mokou has an eye for that. Not sure if she’s happy they’re getting along.

“Anyway,” Miko says, “my wife died.”

The air in the room freezes and Keine stumbles over herself. “I, I’m so sorry! My condolences!”

Mokou joins in. “Yeah, really sorry to hear that.” But who springs that kind of thing on people out of nowhere? Who does that?

Miko laughs. “Oh no, she’s been a ghost for as long as I was asleep in the mausoleum! She’s quite happy about it too! She says it has its perks.”

Keine and Mokou exchange a look and start breathing again. Can’t even call this a bad joke.

“I’m bringing it up to ask if, purely hypothetically of course,” she looks at Keine, “your power over history could prevent her death. Just an example to help me understand.”

“A-ah...” Keine shrinks a little, which immediately makes Mokou scowl at Miko. “Well, yes. Hypothetically speaking. If I rewrite history I create a new present, in a way. Only I am remember.”

Miko’s smile disappears. She lowers her gaze. “The power over the past… It sounds like a curse to me. Must be difficult to live with something as terrifying as that.”

Keine eyes widen. “Y-yes! Regular humans think it’s so powerful and fantasize about the ways in which they would use it, or they they are scared and think it has to be destroyed! But I’m just… I’m just a person! A single person with this awful power! I never wanted this!”

Mokou, mouth open, stares at Keine. She doesn’t talk about this. Mokou can tell it weighs on her, but Keine keeps this one part of her to herself, except when she’s drunk at home, maybe. For Miko to get that out of her like that…

“Ah, sorry!” Keine says. “I, I didn’t mean to…”

Miko takes her hand. “It’s fine. I could tell you wanted to get it off your chest.” She smiles again. “By the way, what’s your relationship?”

Mokou and Keine look up, then at each other. “We’re, uh…” Mokou tries. Things keep coming out of nowhere with this girl.

“We’re family.”

Mokou turns that though around in her head. It works. “Yeah, family.”

“I see, I see.” Miko nods. She turns to Mokou and touches her hair. “Hmm~”

“Uh, what?”

“Would you like to accompany me home after this?” She winks.

“Uh…?” Mokou checks in with Keine, who seems similarly taken aback. “What do you mean…?”

“Sorry, I thought that was clear enough. I would like you to spend a night with me?”

“Don’t you have a wife??”

“Yes, why?”

“Uh?”

“Oh, do you want her to join? I would have to ask her, of course.”

“What??”

“Hmm, I could hear your desire, but maybe we’re not coming to an agreement here.”

“...Is that why…?” Is that all she’s been doing here? Poking at desires?

“Yes.”

Mokou looks at Keine, now all red, probably not unlike Mokou. She needs a break from this. Mokou gets up. “Excuse me, I need to go for a walk.”

“Well,” Miko says, “maybe it’s time to start the lesson then.”

Mokou stops. “Yeah, if you don’t mind me asking, what lesson?”

“I hear after my death people invented new alphabets. I would very much like to learn them if nobody around here writes in Chinese anymore.”

Mokou turns around. “Yeah! Good that you got Keine, I had to learn these by myself! That was a huge pain as a girl.”

“I can imagine! Hence I am here.”

Mokou pauses, turns around again. “Anyway, walk.”

“Have a nice trip!” Keine says, probably to smooth over the atmosphere a little.

The moment Mokou is out of sight of the house, she lets out a giant sigh. This Miko person is a weirdo, the kind you need to get used to first. Like most people here, really. And Mokou will probably take her up on her offer. Considering how many things they have in common, she is kind of a weirdo too, after all. One who could use a bit of affection of the less familial kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Miko a reddit poly guy, yes
> 
> I spend too much time thinking about who in Gensokyo is too old to have learned kana


	2. Zombie wife! Wicked wife!

“Lady Seiga!” Doors fly open. “Lady Seiga, hast thou a moment!”

Seiga looks up at the nuisance that just burst into her bathroom in her chambers. “No.” Her hands are stuck in Yoshika’s hair, full of bubbles. They also both happen to be naked. No one in their right mind would dare bother Seiga like this.

But this is Futo. “Forgive mine disturbance! A complaint most foul hath reached mine ears! The Crown Prince’ students are quite shaken by the appearance of thine servant! But mine genius hath devised a plan! If only she would greet all visitors in a bright voice! Surely they wouldst come to appreciate her! Also, mayhaps a ribbon!”

“Yes, yes,” Seiga says to get that girl to leave, when it strikes her, “that would be very cute, wouldn’t it. What do you think, Yoshika?”

“Ughmm.” She blows bubbles between her lips. Oops, Seiga meant to keep the shampoo out of her face. But it’s cute so she lets her be.

“I knew thou wouldst see the light! I shall inform the Crown Prince posthaste.”

“Yes, you do that,” Seiga says, and before Futo storms out the building yells after her, “Close the door!” which at least results in a single closed door. That girl really is nowhere near as cute as her Yoshika. Too bad she’s a hermit too.

Seiga washes the shampoo out of Yoshika’s hair and leads her to the bath. Naturally Yoshika sits in her lap. The hot water makes Yoshika a little less stiff, and Seiga relaxes cuddling her favorite toy. Now, she does know a youkai who is good at greeting. A weak one she can bully around a little, that could be fun. Seiga hums happily as Yoshika starts reciting an old poem, one of Seiga’s favorites.

Her cute servant waddling in front of her, Seiga makes her way to the Myouren Temple. This early in the morning no visitors are here, just the way she likes it. Occasionally Yoshika trips over something, but she gets up right away. Good girl, good girl!

Stalking the outskirts and after beating up an umbrella, she finally spots the youkai she is looking for. Little yamabiko.

“Good morning,” Seiga says and immediately gets one back in reply. When the girl looks at them, though, she freezes.

“Eegh!”

“My, what happened to that nice greeting before? Caught a cold?”

Kyouko’s stare jumps between the two, until Yoshika sits down to eat a grasshopper. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Well, well, I wanted to meet the girl whose wonderful greetings are praised all around,” Seiga says, smiling. She feeds Yoshika a dragonfly.

“U-um! Would you like to visit the temple?”

“Oh, absolutely not. I only have a simple, very small favor to ask.”

“Y-yes…?”

“You see, my cute little Yoshika here would like to learn how to greet people with enthusiasm like yours. Her ‘This is no place for the likes of any of you to enter!’ doesn’t sound too inviting, unfortunately.”

Kyouko watches as Yoshika struggles to get up from the ground again. “I, I’m not sure… I should ask –“

Seiga grabs one of her small shoulders. “Sorry, that won’t do.”

Kyouko starts shaking. “N-no, I really should – “

“Look, it’s very simple,” Seiga whispers, “you help out my cute jiangshi or in the middle of the night you’ll get a little visit from me and a flask of poison~” The way Kyouko’s eyes start quivering is cute, though, so she adds, “or maybe I should have you join Yoshika~? Just a little joke~”

The yamabiko starts sobbing and screaming and tries to get away. They don’t make them like they used to, huh. Annoying~ Seiga turns around to leave, but finds the bakedanuki glaring at her. She doesn’t return the glare.

“Necromancer.”

“Oops~ How nice of you to take care of your little crybaby,” Seiga offers. “Also, officially it’s still hermit.”

“Thinkin’ I should take care of you first.”

Above her, the leaves of several trees rustle. Something shadowy is moving between them. Ah, the nue. Seiga pats Yoshika’s head over her hat. Whether it is danmaku or a fistfight, she can take both of these youkai, but does she want to? Not really, no. That feeling is probably mutual. Because they would lose.

Well, time to go. “Yoshika,” Seiga turns to her little servant, who imitates her earlier gesture and pats the yamabiko’s head. The girl pauses and, like everyone else present, watches Yoshika.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” Yoshika mumbles. Seiga gasps with joy. So cute!!

“The zombie guard is a better person than her master, hm?” The bakedanuki smirks.

“She’s so cute, isn’t she!” Seiga hugs Yoshika, who kind of groans in return.

Kyouko slowly extends her hand… and pats Yoshika back. “Um, okay, I, I’ll teach you! I’ll teach you to give everyone a nice greeting!”

“See, I knew you were a smart girl,” Seiga says, and the bakedanuki steps uncomfortably close to her.

“You’re not invited. Next time you’re here we’ll finish the shinigamis’ job.”

Seiga smiles at her. Like she’s buying that threat. She’s not a hermit for nothing. If they do call the head priest, though, that’s just more trouble than it’s worth. “Gotcha, gotcha. Let’s go, Yoshika. It stinks like wild animals here.”

Seiga feels the glares on her back as she takes Yoshika back home. Somewhere around halfway home, Yoshika stops.

“Master.”

“Yes~?”

Yoshika raises her arms, turns her waist, and sort of slaps Seiga.

She grins. “Aww, that bath did help with the stiffness~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever love a girl who is just evil 
> 
> yes


End file.
